Okay so I recently posted this outstanding wistful song a little ways back; sung by smoky-voiced Julie London. But just had to give smoky-voiced Chet a shot. He is one of my favorites. Young Man With A Horn, he is that. And a great talented tragic character of the Jazz World. But as a lover & a junkie myself (albeit a prescription one) I fully understand.

But he still makes me weep.

Just lost an acquaintance "friend" incredibly talented thief here in Los Gatos. A member of our local Wrecking Crew/Hole in the Wall Gang, whatever you want to call us. 

But does that have anything to do with it? I don't think so. Not viscerally anyway because although I helped the guy--Chris B. we'll call him-- with food, money, advice, humor & spoke with him 2 days before his death from apparent alcoholism & broken-hardheartedness over the loss of his "common law wife" Martha about maybe 2 years ago from the same disease, I essentially feel nothing. Not like I used to.

Scary in a way. No? But I've a tendency to stoicism. My mother was somewhat that way & a long-term girlfriend from across the pond originally from the land of the stiff upper lip & all that, wot..?

Death is part of life.  Man Woman Birth Death Infinity. Its gone when it goes in the twinkling of an eye. Tempus fugit. Carpe diem. Tu est pulchre sed tarde. (Joke.) That's it in a nutshell.

Perhaps that has something to do with being all washed out emotionally over my recent Girl of Summer affair of the heart fiasco. Just got over it. Tested myself watching an old video of the person in question & didn't feel a thing. Didn't cry, moan, throw up or feel like getting a stiff drink & downing a vial of synthetic morphine. I'm cured. It takes a little time & you think you'll never get from there to here but you do. But some don't because they can't get far enough.

Chris continued mourning Martha & drank all the more committedly after her death. His remains will lie next to hers in a little while in the St. Luke's churchyard with the rest of the homeless. He wasn't a bad guy really. Had talents for auto-mechanics & professional level cooking. Now his problems are over. I'd say we're the ones still in it. Life I mean. But, surprisingly doing okay all things considered. I'm lucky to be alive. I don't want to be anybody else. I'm content. Blowing in the wind. Singing in the rain. Rolling with the punches...

When I Fall In Love

When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love

In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before its begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
That's when I fall in love with you

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
That's when I fall in love with you

--song written by Victor Young (music) & Edward Heyman (lyrics)