& I've fallen in love with my Chinese librarian who always gives me more hours on the computer. I hope she doesn't shoot me down. I'll just bring her a rose one day. Ask her out for coffee or chai if she takes. But she knows the look. I gaze at her & sit near her & she doesn't seem bothered. She's a committed librarian too. She actually loves books & helping people. Like a nurse! Nurses are great. I think she's very cool. And it's hard to get to her like she's all business. But I've been very formal & she knows the look & instead of shining me on she responds to my questions like simple stuff: How are you today. Fine. Thank you. You're welcome.

She doesn't respond like that to anybody else. She knows the look. She can tell I'm all bleary eyed. Tears in my eyes. OK. From allergies too. But already I just wanna take care of her a little bit. I think she might be ill. I can tell she might have some kind of skin cancer on her face. But she's beautiful anyway. I love people BECAUSE of their imperfections. Not even in spite of them. Anyway...Long Chinese silken hair...Strong Cultural Revolution type. I can make her smile too. And she likes to smile but tries appearing stoic. I know how it is. I just wanna make her laugh. (Usually all I have to do is take off my clothes & they never stop laughing...) But seriously folk...

Of course I'm jumping the gun. As usual. In a case like this. But I always need to be in love (or at least fixated...) in some way, otherwise I'm not happy. Or inspired. She's my new muse. My Madame Moon Lady Muse. Now all I wanna do is read Chinese literature. Study the language. Speak Chinese. Eat Chinese. Do Chinese kinda things...(And I'm part Chinese ancestry so that should come as a shock...I'm also part Black...Moors on my late mother's Spanish-Jewish side. Lately I've set my sights on hunting Chinese women as prospective lovers. With children in mind originally but Moon Lady is probably beyond the easy childbearing age. I don't even think of her in a purely sexual vein. This is more like romantic infatuation. I might even volunteer here at the library just so I can be near to her. But I'm in too much pain lately.

Did I mention I was in the hospital recently? OK now. Dropped firefood on my leg. Embarrassed. Got infected. Plenty of painkillers. Whoopee! Dear Abby, am I crazy...? Don't answer that...!

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